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The Awkward Truth About Explaining Your Job to Family

Edmund
By Edmund Adu Asamoah September 18 2025 • 5 min read
Family dinner conversation
“So… do you fix computers?” .... every family gathering, ever.

Explaining data/software engineering to family is a boss-level challenge. You have 30 seconds, three aunties listening, and one uncle ready with a printer that hasn’t worked since 2014. Do you say “cloud”? Do you say “apps”? Do you just smile and pass the jollof?

I’ve tried everything from “I build data pipelines” to “I make dashboards tell the truth.” Here’s the awkward truth: most people don’t want the details, they want a picture. This post is that picture: simple analogies, what I actually do, what I don’t do, and how I keep the convo warm without becoming Tech Support Guy™.

Top family question
“Fix my phone?”
Times I said “it depends”
∞
Grandma’s title for me
Computer doctor
My real job
Move & ship data

Skip the jargon. Lead with a picture: “I help the right info get to the right people at the right time.” Then stop talking and let questions pull the details.

Why it’s weird to explain

Most jobs build something you can hold. Ours builds things you can’t see: pipelines, services, models. Family wants outcomes, not acronyms. So I keep it human: who I help, what changes for them, and one example.

1) Analogies that actually land

Forget “distributed systems.” Try these instead:

  • Logistics: I’m a delivery manager for information. I make sure the right data packages arrive on time and intact.
  • Kitchen: I prep ingredients (data), follow recipes (pipelines), and plate meals (dashboards/APIs) people actually eat.
  • Electricity: If lights turn on, no one notices. If they don’t, everyone calls me.

2) What I actually do (plain English)

  • Collect data from apps, sensors, and services.
  • Clean and reshape it so it’s trustworthy.
  • Store it so it’s fast to find later.
  • Expose it through APIs, reports, or features other teams use.
  • Keep it running safely with tests, alerts, and docs.

3) What I don’t do (set expectations)

  • I don’t repair phones or printers (love you, Uncle Kofi).
  • I don’t hack Facebook accounts.
  • I don’t know “all computers.” I know my stack really well.

4) A friendly script that works

Here’s the one-liner I use now:

“I’m a data & software engineer. I build the plumbing that moves information, keeps it clean, and makes it useful for decisions.”

Then I add one example from work or a project and stop. Let curiosity pull you, not push.

Whiteboard explanation Family chat

Relatable truths from family Q&As

  • “Tech support” is love language. Accept the hug, set a boundary.
  • People remember stories, not specs. Bring one good story.
  • Titles confuse. Outcomes land. Lead with the change you make.
  • Silence is a feature. Stop talking after the one-liner.

Takeaways for engineers

  • Translate to pictures: logistics, kitchen, electricity.
  • Say what you do, what changes, one example, then pause.
  • Kind boundaries keep you human and off printer duty.
  • Write your one-liner and practice it out loud.

If this helps you survive the next family event without debugging the TV, share it. Or send me the wildest question you’ve been asked. I’m collecting a greatest hits list.

Your job, but make it human

Keep the warmth, drop the jargon, tell a story. Next time someone asks what you do, try the one-liner above and see how the conversation changes.

  • Use a picture, not jargon — think delivery trucks, kitchens, or electricity.
  • Set boundaries kindly; you’re not tech support for every printer on earth.
  • Lead with outcomes — tell one short story about how your work helps people.
Tell me your first step Work with me
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